


Long Dark Night

by lies_d



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3981544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lies_d/pseuds/lies_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place directly after 2x08: White Hat/Black Hat. Tired and defeated, Richard finally gives up on his dream and decides to go home, forcing Jared to put all of his cards on the table.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Dark Night

Richard closed his laptop and remained almost silent for the rest of the evening. Russ's calls went unanswered. When Monica said goodbye for the night he didn't even look at her.

Once all the new people had left and it was just him and the guys, he shook his head.

"I'm done."

Richard normally had a quiet voice, but now, with everyone listening, it rang with a finality that seemed louder and more terrible than a shout.

Nobody said anything.

When Richard stood up and headed towards his room, the only one who rose to follow him was Jared.

"Richard..."

"No, Jared. No pep talk. There's no... getting better from this. We're just fucked. Pied Piper is fucked." He looked over towards everyone. "You should all start looking for new jobs. You're all great, and none of this was your fault. I'm sure you'll be okay. I'm just going to... go to my room, try to sleep, and probably wet the bed. Tomorrow I'm going to buy a ticket home to Tulsa. Unless maybe I'm lucky enough to have a heart attack and die in my sleep."

Jared shook his head. "No, please don't die."

Hands stuffed deep into his pockets, Richard lifted his head to take a long look at Jared.

"Fine. I'll live long enough to give you a good reference. Because you deserve better than this. All of you do."

His head bowed once again, Richard slunk into his room, closing the door gently behind him.

***

Richard left the lights off. He crawled into bed with all of his clothes on and pulled the covers up over himself. He knew he probably wouldn't sleep, but maybe at least he could just hide for a little while. Let time pass.

The anxiety he usually felt at bedtime was replaced now with the crushing weight of failure, and a kind of icy fear that came along with it. Would he ever succeed at anything again? Would he ever be worth anything, to anyone?

He closed his eyes then and tried to sleep. Tried to think about chaos theory and code. Nothing. No sleep for Richard. He decided to go out and ask Erlich if he had any downers in that cornucopia of his. A couple of valium maybe. He'd even settle for a beer.

The house was darker when he stepped out of his room, but the guys were still there, working late on who knows what. Not his problem anymore.

"Richard?" Jared stood up from his workstation and approached him before he could get to Erlich, who was eating a late-night snack in the kitchen.

Richard sighed. He wasn't ready for any kind of motivational speech that Jared might have for him, but the worried furrow in his brow tugged at him. The least he could do was listen.

"Richard - I've been working on a list. I can send it right now if you want. It's, um, I guess you could say it's an endgame. All the steps to close up shop here. Most of it I can do for you. There would be some papers to sign, and one last board meeting but there shouldn't be any problems. If that's what you want, you could be home in a week. It'd be okay. I just wanted you to know that it's all going to be okay."

Jared forced a sad smile and reached out to pat Richard awkwardly on the shoulder.

Richard nodded and took a long breath. "Thanks, Jared. That... actually makes me feel a lot better."

Jared's smile became less forced and less sad. "I even did a quick job search for you. Anything computer-related that I thought you'd be qualified for. There wasn't a whole lot, but with your qualifications I think you'll be back on your feet in no time."

Richard hadn't thought that far ahead at all - mostly he just wanted to crawl down into his parents' basement and lick his wounds for awhile. He was touched that Jared would care enough to do that for him.

"Thanks," Richard said again.

Jared bobbed his head the way he did when he received praise, as though he didn't quite know how to respond. He took a step back and it looked as though he was going to turn to his work station, but he didn't. The worried look returned to his face again.

"Richard... if you go, do you think that maybe... I could go with you?"

What a weird thing to ask. Even the other guys seemed to notice. The sound of typing came to a stop, and over in the kitchen, Erlich raised his eyebrows as he ate his yogurt.

"Go to Tulsa with me? What would you do there?"

Jared shrugged. "With my background in business development, I could do anything, really. I assume they have businesses in Tulsa."

"Yeah I guess they do. And you could. But... _why?_ "

The question hung in the air for quite awhile. The expression on Jared's face was... so strange. He stared at Richard, then looked away, then looked back. Opened his mouth, then closed it. Richard wondered if he was going to answer at all.

"I love you," said Jared finally. "And I don't want to live so far away that I never see you."

You could hear a fucking pin drop. Erlich's spoon stopped halfway to his mouth. Over in the workroom, Gilfoyle spun his chair around slowly to look to Dinesh, who stared back with wide eyes and silently mouthed _what the fuck?_

Richard felt his mouth drop open. He had to make an effort to close it.

 _What_ the hell was going on? How was he supposed to respond to that? Who just... casually announces, in front of everyone, that he loves you and wants to move across the country with you?

Richard closed his eyes and gave his head a little shake. Jared does, that's who. Quiet, gentle, awkward Jared, who made the rest of them look like smooth-talking socialites by comparison. Jared, who loved him. Of course.

"Okay." He nodded and opened his eyes to see Jared's face light up. "Okay. If you really want to move to Tulsa. My parents can probably put you up for a few weeks until you get a place of your own."

It'd be nice, having Jared there. At least something good would come of this whole mess.

"Great," was Jared's response, with a little 'booyah' pump of his arm. "I'll start doing a job search of my own." He went back to his laptop, oblivious to Gilfoyle's glare.

Finally crossing to the kitchen, Richard took some milk from the fridge. Dinesh was staring back and forth between him and Jared, but Richard didn't care. Let him. Very soon Pied Piper wouldn't be in business anymore, so this was literally none of theirs.

Erlich resumed eating his yogurt.

"So, are you and Jared like, a gay couple now?" He asked between mouthfuls.

Setting the microwave to warm his milk, Richard shrugged.

"Sure. Why not?" Even he couldn't tell if he was joking or not. He looked over to Jared, who raised his eyebrows, smiled, and made a little 'hm' sound before bending back to his search.

Richard had to admit there was something a little gay about telling another guy that you loved him. Jared hadn't qualified whether he loved him 'as a friend' or 'as a brother'. Possibly Jared was just plain gay for him. Honestly, Richard didn't care right now. He liked Jared. He wasn't sure how much. Maybe a lot. Maybe they'd hash it out sometime, exactly what Jared meant, and what Richard thought of that, when three homophobic straight dudes weren't staring at them like they'd both grown second heads. Or maybe they'd never speak of it again. He felt better now, lighter somehow.

Richard drank his warm milk, brushed his teeth, and went back to bed.  

***

Sadly, the warm milk didn't help. Richard lay awake, listening to his friends tapping away on their computers, until one by one they too retreated to their bedrooms.

He got up, feeling strangely bereft. He put on Erlich's ridiculous gift kimono. Stepping barefoot into his sneakers, he made his way quietly over to Jared's humble guest house.

Hearing no German, Richard assumed Jared was still awake, so he chanced a gentle knock on the door. Jared answered in his nightclothes - a light t-shirt and pyjama pants.

"Richard?" He looked a little sleepy-eyed, but still pleasantly surprised to see him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I mean... no, not really. But it's not an emergency. I just... kinda wanted to talk. Is that okay?"

"Of course! Come in. Me casa es tu casa. Did you want a beverage, or some kind of snack?"

Richard shook his head. "No thank you." He didn't need anything. He didn't think Jared would have much to offer in that regard anyways, though it was kind of him. Noah's guest house looked pretty from the outside, but it was really cramped and spare inside. Fully one third of the floor space was taken up by ferret cages against one wall. They smelled... kind of like cats, but stronger. The only things Jared had to himself were a narrow bed, a mini-fridge, a hot plate, and a rack for his clothes. There was a bathroom on one side, and now that Richard was looking, a few pull-out bins under the bed. The salient thing was that there were no chairs.

Richard stepped in. Not wanting to lean against the ferret cages or sit on the hot plate, he sat down on the bed. Jared closed the door and sat down beside him. Not right next to him, but...also on the bed. Thinking that it should probably make him uncomfortable, Richard had the surprising realization that it didn't.

Now that he'd announced that he wanted to talk, Richard found that actually, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say to Jared. It was sort of nice just sitting here with him. The bathroom light cast a glow into the room. The ferrets wheezed softly in their sleep. Jared was looking over at him, in that way he usually did. Richard had always wondered why he looked at him that way, as though Richard made him happy by just being there in the room with him. Now it made sense.

"May I ask you something, Richard?"

"Hmm? Sure."

Jared looked down and folded his hands together. "When Erlich asked you if we were, you know, a couple. And you said yes. I assumed you were joking. But I couldn't really tell." He looked back up at Richard. "Were you?"

That was getting right to the heart of the matter, wasn't it?

"Well, um... " Richard could feel his face going through a handful of half-expressions, the way it did when he had too much to say but couldn't articulate even one thing. "The thing is... I'm not gay," he concluded apologetically.

"Neither am I," replied Jared with a shrug.

Well, that was that then. An open and shut case of 'no-homo'. So why did Richard still feel so unsettled about it? Even Jared seemed... kind of a little sad now.

"What do you think? Did _you_ want to be a couple?" Richard asked.

"With you? Yes, I would love that," Jared replied without hesitation. "I know it's not really a possibility, so I'd never seriously considered it before. But if you're asking, well, that's my answer." He wrapped his arms around himself. "I hope it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable around me."

Richard shook his head. _Still so confused!_

"But didn't you just say...?"

"Um. I said I'm not gay. But I'm probably not a straight-zero on the Kinsey scale either." Jared cocked his head, brow furrowed. "Feels odd to admit. I've never told anyone besides my therapist."

Richard sighed. So that didn't help anything. As far as Richard was concerned, he was right back where he started.

He didn't want to talk about it anymore. Didn't want to tell Jared about that one guy in college. He'd been kinda drunk at the time - did that even count? And he didn't want to go back to his room just yet. He realized how nice it was, not worrying about anything remotely business-related for ten whole minutes in a row. Sure he was confused, but his confusion wasn't going to cost anyone tens of thousands of dollars.

Richard closed his eyes and pictured getting on a plane, with Jared right behind him. Jared would probably have to fold his lanky frame up like an accordion to fit into his seat, but Richard would bet the last dollar in his bank account that he wouldn't complain. He'd just smile at him the way that he always did. Listen patiently while Richard geeked out on the plane design and the physics involved. When they landed maybe they could go somewhere quiet where they could be alone. Maybe...

Reaching over, Richard found Jared's hand and held onto it. Looked over to watch surprise blossom into delight.

Richard leaned over to kiss him. A kind of awkward sideways kiss that he nonetheless felt right down to his toes. It was okay. More than okay. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but this was better. This was the answer he was waiting for – the answer was _yes._

Things went from no-homo to all-homo real fucking quick as Richard pushed Jared back down onto the bed.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” he admitted at one point.

“Neither do I,” replied Jared.

But they must’ve been doing something right because Jared came in his hand and then, after the sweetest, shyest offer he’d ever heard, Richard came in Jared’s mouth.

That night, Richard didn't wet the bed, and Jared didn't speak German. Or if he did, Richard was sleeping too deeply to hear it. The bed was so narrow they slept wrapped around each other and in the morning, to hell with his breath, Richard turned around and woke Jared up with hot, sleepy kisses up and down his neck.     

***

“Walk of _shame_.” Gilfoyle commented as Richard padded barefoot into the house. Richard didn’t stop to reply – he didn’t even look over.

Box of condoms in the sock drawer. Water-based lube hiding in the detritus of his desk. He realized he didn’t have any pockets to carry them in. Also his t-shirt was on both backwards and inside out. Oops. Grabbing what he came for, he marched out of his room and double-timed it to the door.

Not fast enough – Dinesh spit red bull out all over the kitchen counter when he saw what Richard was carrying. He was still coughing when Richard left, but Richard couldn’t muster even a single fuck to give. He was sorta saving them up.

Jared was waiting for him on his bed. Nude under his modest sheet. Long legs that tipped open at the barest touch. Face open with trust and affection and _it was all okay, it was all melty-hot and good_ , whimpering his name and Richard had never been so gone.  

***

Nobody said a goddamn word the next time Richard walked into the house. Carla didn’t even make fun of his kimono. By the time he emerged showered, shaved, and dressed, from the bathroom, nearly the full company compliment was present and hard at work. 

Jared must’ve been finished washing the ferret cages (part of his ‘rent’ to Noah, he’d explained to Richard), because he walked in just then and set his laptop down in the usual spot.

“So Jared, how do you feel now that you’ve handed Richard your V-card?” Gilfoyle asked without turning around.

Jared caught Richard’s eye. An impish smile crossed his face.

“Just peachy, thanks.”

 _His V-card?_ Did that mean that Jared had been... oh god. Richard felt a pang of guilt that Jared’s first time had to be like that, on a narrow bed with ferrets watching. At least it had been with someone who gave a damn about him, which was more than Richard could boast. He sighed and shook his head.

“Oh my god, can we just not talk about that, ever?” Pleaded Dinesh. “I’m really happy for you both, and I'm not homophobic, it just makes me sick okay?”

“I second that motion,” commented Erlich from the kitchen.

“What’s going on? Did Richard hook up with O.J.?”  Carla asked.

“They’re moving to Oklahoma together,” Gilfoyle informed her. Carla shot Jared a thumbs-up, and Jared thumbsed-up right back.

“No, we’re not,” Richard announced. “Moving to Tulsa. Not right away at least.”

That got most everyone’s attention. Richard stepped into the work room where everyone could hear. He felt calm and clear-headed for the first time in months.

“Pied Piper’s in trouble, I’m sure you all know that. But I’m willing to stick it out until the last penny is gone. Run it into the ground. After the ship goes down, I guess I’ll be looking for a job like everyone else. But if I can create two game-changing algorithms within a few months of each other, I’m pretty sure I’ll come up with something else. Hopefully in time to save the company. Anyways... I’m not going anywhere. And I’m sorry for being such a sad sack yesterday.”

Richard looked to Jared, and the anxiety that was trying to bubble up in his stomach settled down.

Just then, Jared’s phone buzzed loudly – he took it out of his pocket.

“Jared Dunn here. Yes. Mm hmm. _Oh!_ ” His face lit up with what looked suspiciously like hope. “That’s fantastic! Here – I’ll let you tell Richard.”

Jared reached over to give him his phone. Another last-minute lifeline, maybe. Another round in the ring, more like. Well, okay. Richard took the phone. He was good to go.

The end.


End file.
